The nine signs your relationship is toxic – and how to know when it’s time to get out right now

A relationship and dating coach has revealed the nine signs your relationship is toxic, and how to know when it’s time to get out right now.

Louanne Ward said there are many giveaways that a relationship is ‘toxic’, whether it’s the ‘bouquet of red flags they hand you by the third date, or the scent of control that oozes from them as they ask to check your phone’.

The professional matchmaker, from Perth, listed the nine worst signs she has encountered from clients, as well as the four personality types you need to avoid like the plague on the dating scene.

A relationship and dating coach has revealed the nine signs your relationship is toxic, and how to know when it’s time to get out right now (Louanne Ward pictured)

1. They are controlling

The number one sign that you’re in a toxic relationship is if you’re with someone who is controlling and disrespectful.

‘Look out for men who expect your life to revolve around them,’ Louanne posted on her Instagram page.

A controlling personality can be displayed in a subtle way, as well as in more obvious fashions.

2. They criticise you

With someone who constantly criticises you, whether it’s your outfit or how you acted in a specific scenario? You need to get out of your relationship.

‘Toxic men or women are often unable to see your perspective and focus on your negative traits rather than your positive ones,’ Louanne said.

A relationship should, on the whole, bring you up instead of down.

With someone who constantly criticises you, whether it's your outfit or how you acted in a specific scenario? You need to get out of your relationship (stock image)

With someone who constantly criticises you, whether it’s your outfit or how you acted in a specific scenario? You need to get out of your relationship (stock image)

3. They love gossip

‘If the person you are with is addicted to drama and loves gossiping about others wherever they go, then you shouldn’t be with them,’ Louanne said.

‘They are probably out to incite a negative reaction.’

4. They’ve been in dysfunctional relationships before

A major red flag with a relationship is when someone has been in dysfunctional relationships before, whether in their professional or romantic life.

‘You should be even more worried if they always say they were never to blame,’ Louanne said.

5. They are pathological liars

Pathological liars are often the cause of toxic relationships, Louanne said.

She added: ‘Even if you have evidence that is contrary to what they have said, a pathological liar will continue lying to get out of a certain situation.’

6. They manipulate

‘If you are with someone who uses gaslighting and other manipulating tactics to get the outcome they want, even if it hurts you in the process, then you’re possibly in a toxic relationship,’ Louanne said.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person or group makes someone question their sanity, perception of reality, or memories.

People experiencing gaslighting often feel confused, anxious, and unable to trust themselves.

'If the person you are with is addicted to drama and loves gossiping about others wherever they go, then you shouldn't be with them,' Louanne said (stock image)

‘If the person you are with is addicted to drama and loves gossiping about others wherever they go, then you shouldn’t be with them,’ Louanne said (stock image)

7. They have anger outbursts

‘A sign of a toxic relationship is someone who has uncontrollable anger outbursts over even the smallest inconveniences,’ Louanne said.

It’s a good idea to watch your own temper and that of your partner.

8. They pretend all the time

The eighth sign of a toxic relationship is someone who can’t stop pretending, and who is very difficult to predict when it comes to their personality.

‘Toxic people are great pretenders,’ Louanne said.

‘What the outside world sees versus who they are behind closed doors is never the same.’

9. They project false emotions

Finally, if someone projects false emotions on to you instead of owning the emotion themselves, you need to get out of the relationship.

‘There are many dangers to being in a toxic relationship,’ Louanne concluded.

‘Being involved with a toxic person can leave you feeling drained, depressed and depleted.

‘It’s important that if you find yourself in one, that you reach out to someone you trust and create a plan that will allow you to safely exit that relationship.’

Previously, Louanne (pictured) shared the four types of personalities to avoid on the dating scene - including the 'love bomber', 'foodie call' and 'romance scammer'

Previously, Louanne (pictured) shared the four types of personalities to avoid on the dating scene – including the ‘love bomber’, ‘foodie call’ and ‘romance scammer’

The four personality types to avoid

* The Love Bomber

* The Foodie Call

* The Stage Five Clinger

* The Romance Scammer

Previously, Louanne shared the four types of personalities to avoid on the dating scene – including the ‘love bomber’, ‘foodie call’ and ‘romance scammer’.

‘The love bomber is an expert at saying and doing all the right romantic things to get you hooked in,’ Louanne said.

On the other hand, the ‘foodie call’ sets up dates with people they are not romantically interested in just to get free meals.

A stage five clinger is someone who just won’t give up on you – and they can be over-the-top when trying to contact you or make plans with no reciprocation.

But Louanne said the stage five clinger should have ‘way more to be concerned about other than just being needy’.

‘They are emotionally unstable which could be a sign of BPD (borderline personality disorder),’ she said.

Finally, you should steer clear of the romance scammer.

Romance scams involves someone setting up a fake social media profile in an attempt to trick love-lusting victims into sending them money.

After gaining your trust – often waiting weeks, months or even years – they tell you an elaborate story and ask for money, gifts or your bank account/credit card details.

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